New York Gets Jack’d! 24 Season Premiere Live Diary – Part II

Posted on January 18, 2010. Filed under: General, Tale of the Tweets, Television, TiVo | Tags: , , , , , |

Welcome back! It’s time for Part II of my epic 24 Season 8 premiere live blog. In case you missed Part I from last night (which covered 4:00 pm – 6:00 pm), you can check it out right here.

When we last left off, we had tallied a total body count of nine through the first two hours (nine in the first hour, zero in the second).

Here’s our cast of characters so far: In addition to “I’ve got a plane to catch” Jack Bauer, Chloe O’Brian and President A. Taylor (the A stands for Awesome), we met:

  • CTU Agent Fembot (Dana Walsh) who has a secret trailer trash past and is engaged to…
  • CTU Agent Freddie Prinze Jr.
  • NYC Director Hastings (I don’t have a nickname for him yet) UPDATE: WE HAVE A NICKNAME: CTU Chief Bubba Hunch
  • A new presidential chief of staff who may or may not be trustworthy (no nickname yet)
  • Arlo the incompetent or idiotic CTU analyst (who may or may not be a mole)
  • Level 1 Bad Guy (aka Horace Goodspeed and Triumph the Insult Comic Dog) who appears to be leading a conspiracy to assassinate…
  • President Omar Hassan of generic Islamic nation (aka Slumdog Millionaire Who Wants To Be a Millionaire Host), in town to sign a landmark peace treaty
  • President Slumdog Millionaire has been interviewed by and appears to be having dirty western thoughts about the journalist Meredith Reed (aka Jessica Stein)
  • Jessica Stein may or may not be just a decoy in the plot to assassinate President Slumdog Millionaire or actually involved.

So here we go with my live diary/would-be Tale of the Tweets for Part Two of the premiere of Day Eight of 24. Let’s get to the ass-kicking and body count, shall we? (more…)

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New York Gets Jack’d! 24 Season Premiere Live Diary – Part I

Posted on January 18, 2010. Filed under: Tale of the Tweets, Television, TiVo | Tags: , , , , , , , , |

I decided not to live-tweet the two part/two night/four hour premiere of the 8th season of 24 because I wanted to be fully focused.  24 requires complete and undivided attention, especially as they set up the season. Which takes place in New York City! But as the premiere unfolded, I realized I had so much snark to share. And that I have a blog. So if sharing snark about 24 isn’t what the blog is for, I don’t know why I bother.

New York Gets Jack'd! (photo from

So here we go with my live diary/would-be Tale of the Tweets for Part One of the premiere of Day Eight of 24. Let’s get to the ass-kicking and body count, shall we?

The following takes place between the hours of 4:00 p.m. and 5:00 p.m.

Events occur in real time.

Disclaimer: the time-stamping is approximate. My TiVo time is not quite in sync with the official 24 clock, so there’s a 2 minute margin of error.

4:01: Hey! Not everybody in NYC is a crack addict. #stereotyping

4:02: Two minutes in and the body count is already at two. This is going to be a good season.

4:04: Jack’s granddaughter is a real cutie. I sure hope she doesn’t get caught up in this nonsense.

4:05: So they use fake Fox News on a Fox show so they don’t want people to see how ridiculous the real thing is?

4:05: Oh Kim Bauer. I forgot how much you annoy me.

Anil Kapoor: game show host to president

4:07: The actor who played the host of Who Wants to Be a Millionaire in Slumdog Millionaire is the president of Iran, er, Kamistan, er, generic Islamic nation.

4:07: But the actor who plays him is Indian. Oh, nevermind.

4:07: It’s 24. Racial profiling is not only standard, it’s expected.

4:08: President Taylor is made of awesome.

4:16: Jennifer Westfeldt lives with John Hamm. Isn’t that enough? Now she must have the president of Kamistan as well?

4:18: Hassan’s brother seems like a real tool. I’m sure that won’t be a factor either.

4:21: 21 minutes in and Jack pulls his first awesome move of the season.

4:21: “You’re lucky I’m retired.” Jack Bauer. Bad ass.

4:22: Ooh. CTU has fancy new digs in NYC. Our tax dollars hard at work.

4:22: Another engaged couple at CTU? There will never be another Tony and Michelle!

4:22: Perimeter!

4:23: Oh blonde woman you did NOT just talk patronizingly to Chloe O’Brian.

4:24: Why won’t people learn to listen to Jack Bauer?

4:24: I love how Jack pulls the same “Don’t make me go to the president” move every season.

4:25: CTU director Hastings: “Gather com and tactical. Tell them we’ve got a situation.” *giggles* Jersey Shore is EVERYWHERE!

4:26: “Who is Jack Bauer?” Arlo is clearly an idiot. And that might turn out to be relevant later. Just a hunch.

4:34: Ooh, the president got a divorce! Over Olivia. And the murder she paid for. And that’s that.

4:36: Ethan’s popping pills. That won’t be relevant later.

4:36: Jack to Kim: “Something came up. Gonna be at little late.” Understatements of the year.

4:37: Hmm…the Baccarat store is located at 59th and Madison. Let’s see. That’s approximately NOWHERE NEAR 18th and 9th.

4:38: Having trouble buying into the concept that Chloe is having trouble with technology.

4:38: Chloe is the modern-era greek chorus. Speak the truth, girl!

4:39: Agent Freddie Prinze Jr. Not really buying it.

Freddie Prinze Jr. as CTU agent. Interesting. (photo courtesy

4:40: Oh no, damn good samaritan calling the police. Don’t you know it’s Jack Bauer?

4:41: The Magic Satchel! It’s back!

4:45: Oh damn. Mrs. Hassan looks like a cold bitch.

4:46: Hassan’s daughter seems like a good kid. I hope she doesn’t get caught up in all this nonsense.

4:47: Fun fact: President Omar Hassan Ahmad al-Bashir is the real president of Sudan. I learned that when I googled “President Omar Hassan.”

4:48: New Chief of Staff. Trustworthy? Too soon to tell. (Man, I’ve clearly watched waaaaay too much 24).

4:49: Why do they make the NYPD seem like incompetent idiots?

4:49: Listen to Jack Bauer, dammit.

4:49: Two NYPD cops down. Body count now at four.

4:50: “Mr. Hastings, we have a situation at the pickup.” Situations everywhere.

4:51: And the award for best use of a firefighter’s axe as an improvised murder weapon goes to…Jack Bauer!!!!!!!

4:51:: Two bad guys down. Body count now stands at six in the first hour. Nice work.

4:52: Holy fucking shit. What the hell was that? Explosion. Jaw drops.

4:53: Give me a name! Who’s on the inside? Haven’t we heard this before?

4:53: Of course Victor dies before he can give Jack the name of who is on the inside. Otherwise the show would be called 8.

4:54: Two CTU agents and informant dead in the explosion. Body count at 9 after first hour.

4:55: I knew Jessica Stein could not be trusted!

And that’s a wrap on the first hour. Body count total stands at 9.

Let’s see what unfolds next.

The following takes place between 5:00 p.m. and 6:00 p.m.

5:02: Arlo. Arlo is not to be trusted! Or just really incompetent. Too soon to tell. But there’s always a mole at CTU. Always.

5:02: Dying declarations FTW!

5:03: I didn’t know they knew how to pronounce nuclear on Fox. Well done.

Jessica Stein cannot be trusted! (photo courtesy

5:09: So they got Jessica Stein. That was a little too easy. Somehow I think there’s more to this plot.

5:14: And Chloe just said exactly what I said! You’ll have to trust me on that.

5:16: “I promise I won’t be long. I’ll have to meet you at the airport.” Oh Jack why must you lie to Kim?

5:17: “We’re coming to pick you up at CTU.” File under Bad Idea Jeans.

5:19: Chloe and Jack! Together again.

5:20: Why do presidents hire their brothers to be their chiefs of staff, etc.? Younger less successful brothers always have it in for older successful brothers on TV.

5:23: Aha! It’s the brother! I knew it! Told you he was a total tool.

5;24: The Level 1 Bad Guy’s accent sounds just like Triumph the Insult Comic Dog!

5:27: So I had to google Katee Sackhoff. I’m sorry, BSG fans, I never watched.

5:28: If Dana Walsh has a secret past and a former identity, how did CTU miss that on their oh-so-thorough security clearances? Guess I’ll have suspend my disbelief. Again.

5:31: Why don’t they listen to Jack Bauer? Can I program that as an auto-correct?

5:33: Chloe is right. Jack has asked her to do some crazy-ass shit over the years. I mean, days. I mean, hours. Whatever, you know what I’m saying.

Who knew Triumph would make a cameo?

5:34: Kim Bauer pleads with her father. And we have Kim Bauer to thank for this entire season of 24. I’m not sure if I’m ok with that.

5:35: Gratuitous shot of the adorable granddaughter Teri. Man I hope she doesn’t get caught up in this mess.

5:36: HD is not kind to a lot of the cast members on 24.

5:37: Jack is back! We now resume to our regularly scheduled ass-kicking.

5:41: Them’s some really fancy digs at CTU NYC. I wonder where it’s located.

5:42: President Hassan: “If the price for peace is my life, so be it. Now, who wants to be a millionaire????” Oh, that’s not what he said? I must be hearing things.

5:43: The brother has that long hair, is short and is totally sketchy. I can’t believe his brother doesn’t see it?

5:45: Chloe’s hair looks great. And they even gave her decent clothes and a pretty necklace for this season.

5:46: Katee Sackhoff looks sort of like a fembot. A trailer trash fembot!

Katee Sackhoff as Dana Walsh, fembot CTU agent (courtesy of

5:46: So if this slimy Kevin Wade found out who Dana really is, how did CTU miss this on her background check? Oh right, suspension of disbelief.

5:48: Really? If I had Sprint I could get access to a sneak peek of next week’s 24? Yeah, I’ll stick with Verizon thanks. Unless I get an iPhone. But I digress.

5:52: Jessica Stein had direct phone contact with someone at the end of the first hour. Was it just her editor at the newspaper or someone more sinister? When is she going to mention this?

5:53: So the Level 1 Bad Guy who launched an assault missile and took out the CTU chopper is pretending to be a police officer from Queens? Awesome!

5:53: Corollary: how did he land a job with the NYPD and on the UN Security Detail if he’s a foreign national? Suspension of disbelief.

5:55: Oh yeah, Jack Bauer’s gone rogue. Game on, bitches.

5:56: Not Jack Bauer’s Magic Satchel! They took his Magic Satchel!

5:57: Oh he dropped President Taylor’s name again!

5:58: Thank god Jack got his Magic Satchel back. All is right with the world.

5:59: OMG. Triumph the Insult Comic Dog just pulled a gun on the nice policeman and his wife.

5:59: “Tear off a strip and put it over Maggie’s mouth. Do it. For me to poop on!”

And finally:

And since my rule is no previews, I will see you tomorrow night for Part II.

Total body count after the first two hours stands at nine.

Let me know your thoughts via comment or tweet.

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Tale of the Tweets: World Series Championship (and Chris Meloni) Edition

Posted on November 5, 2009. Filed under: Baseball, Sports, Tale of the Tweets, Things I Love About NY, World Series, Yankees | Tags: , , , , , |

Happy. Exhausted. Hung over. Relieved. That’s how I feel right now as I put together the final 2009 installment of the Yankees Tale of the Tweets. Why is that? Oh, because the Yankees closed out the Phillies last night at the Stadium to win Championship #27.  The boys got to Pedro Martinez early and won thanks to outstanding pitching from Andy Pettitte, Damaso Marte (yes, really!) and the great Mariano Rivera and a series-record tying 6 RBI from MVP Hideki Matsui.

Requisite disclaimer: if you’re looking for real analysis and an actual game recap, please look elsewhere, including my friends at River Avenue Blues, This Purist Bleeds Pinstripes and Yankeeist.

We (@rebecca_glass @bkabak @schwartzslaw @joepawl @larry_koestler @bniche) gathered at Blondie’s on the Upper West Side for the third straight game, along with a ton of Yankees fans. Blondie’s had a good vibe working from the start (unlike Monday night), and the team took the lead early. As the game progressed, it looked like our boys were going to close this thing out in six games.

The crowd was fired up and lots of chants (“Der-ek Jeter”, “Let’s Go Yankees!” “Andy Pettitte”, “Hip Hip Jorge!”, “MVP! MVP!”, “Who’s Your Daddy?”) erupted at the bar throughout the game. And as usual, the Blondie’s DJ played all the Yankees songs, just as if you were at the Stadium: Empire State of Mind, YMCA, God Bless America, Take Me Out to the Ball Game, I Wanna Rock, Cotton Eye Joe (unfortunately), and Enter Sandman.

After Mariano locked up yet another World Series save (there are no words to describe Mariano), they put New York New York on repeat and we sang along until we couldn’t sing any more. (Note: pictures will be posted later. I had some technical difficulties with iPhoto and thought I might have lost the pictures, but they’re fine; I just couldn’t upload them).

Without further ado, I present the Tale of the Tweets: World Series Championship (and Chris Meloni) Edition:

Just a few people at the bar for the World Series

OH: At least he got good wood on it. #thatswhatshesaid

Welcome back Hideki Matsui.

What's Japanese for "Daddy"?

There is a lone Phillies fan here. Why would you come to a Yankees bar? Seriously. He’s going to be abused all night.

Come on. We’ve got to be able to hit that. #thingsthatsounddirtybutreallyarent

I’m afraid to see what Evil Stacey tweeted after that A-Rod strikeout. (@gotsu_bb)

What’s Japanese for “daddy”?

Matsui needs a new nickname. “Chichi” is daddy in Japanese. #chichi

Who was the last DH to win World Series MVP? #twitterismygoogle

Chris Meloni just walked in to the bar. No joke.

Nice to see you Detective Stabler (photo courtesy Rebecca Glass)

And I just walked by Chris Meloni (not on purpose, I swear). He is, um, super hot. Wow.

And I just high-fived Chris Meloni. Who agreed with the Daily Show that Philly fans are the douchiest.

CBS in NY has a camera at Blondie’s to film the hoopla. We might be on tv later!

Chants of MVP at the bar for Matsui. #notashock

It is now time for the Hideki Matsui MVP-eanut M&Ms.

Witnesses to the Meloni high five: @rebecca_glass @bkabak @larry_koestler @joepawl @schwartzslaw @bniche.

On our feet at the bar for Andy Pettitte. #awesomeandy

Oh no! Meg is in twitter jail! RT @YankeeMegInPHL I’m in TWITTER JAIL!!!!!!

My favorite part of a night like this is the crazies that come out in NYC.

Damaso Marte. To sneeze or not to sneeze. That is the question.

Never been so happy to hear God Bless America. 6 more baby.

Buy 6 get 7th free! RT @bkabak We just got yet another pitcher of Brooklyn. This one was on the house. Oh yeah. Free beer.

Bar going nuts to Enter Sandman.

I am not ok with the defense of Brett Gardner. #understatementsoftheyear

Looks like a helluva game between the Lakers and Rockets tonight. #waytoosoontotalkaboutnba

Reunited - and it feels so good

And the bar plays Empire State of Mind. 3 more outs. #hfs

Start spreading the news. New York Yankees 2009 World Series champs.

Bar has champagne for everybody. #classact

Next up at the bar: New York State of Mind. Seems about right.

Post World Series victory beers with @bkabak @joepawl @larry_koestler = awesome.

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Tale of the Tweets: World Series Game 2

Posted on October 30, 2009. Filed under: Baseball, Sports, Tale of the Tweets, World Series, Yankees | Tags: , , |

Once again, here are all my tweets from World Series Game 2 at Yankee Stadium. Look, I do this for myself, but if you want to take a look, be my guest. Oh, in terms of the game, I’ll put together a brief recap later, but you can also check out this post from Rebecca Glass at This Purist Bleeds Pinstripes. (in which I’m mentioned a few times, ahem).  Bottom line: AJ dominated, Pedro was good but not good enough, Mariano was Mariano, Teixeira and Matsui homered, and the Yankees won 3-1. It was also my 8th win this season in a game following a loss.

Without further ado, I present the Tale of the Tweets: World Series Game 2.

Ladies and Gentlemen, this is your conductor. Let’s go Yankees.

Paul O’Neill throws out first pitch. Charlie Hayes delivers game ball. Yankees pulling out all the stops.

I am sitting directly behind home plate 400 level 3rd row. I can call balls and strikes from here.

Crowd alternating between Let’s Go Yankees, Derek Jeter and Who’s Your Daddy chants.

Holy cow Ibanez. I did not know he had that range. And he probably didn’t know either.

When was Pedro’s last appearance at the (old) Stadium? Game 7 2003 ALCS?

Thanks all for the Pedro info. Now let’s make him wish he’d never come back.

Mid-game change our luck tweet-up with @rebecca_glass and @bniche.

It worked!!!!!! Teixeira!!!!! Mid-game change our luck tweet-up with @rebecca_glass and @bniche.

Johnny Damon. Buzzkill.

Back at the seats for Matsui. It is all good. #yankees

Everybody in my section was on their feet for that last half inning. High fives all around. It was awesome. I love this place.

Oh man. Once again, we just went thermonuclear. (h/t @schwartzslaw)

I love Mariano Rivera. Can I just say that? Viva leverage! (@rebecca_glass)

Oh what a difference a day makes. Nobody leaving early.

On. Our. Feet.

The lucky shirt is dead. Long live the lucky shirt. Yeah baby. #yankees

Good things happen when I am at Game 2s started by AJ. Coincidence?

Yankee fan wearing a red jacket. Told him he needs to get a navy jacket for games. He laughed. And got the message.

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