New York Gets Jack’d! 24 Season Premiere Live Diary – Part II
Welcome back! It’s time for Part II of my epic 24 Season 8 premiere live blog. In case you missed Part I from last night (which covered 4:00 pm – 6:00 pm), you can check it out right here.
When we last left off, we had tallied a total body count of nine through the first two hours (nine in the first hour, zero in the second).
Here’s our cast of characters so far: In addition to “I’ve got a plane to catch” Jack Bauer, Chloe O’Brian and President A. Taylor (the A stands for Awesome), we met:
- CTU Agent Fembot (Dana Walsh) who has a secret trailer trash past and is engaged to…
- CTU Agent Freddie Prinze Jr.
- NYC Director Hastings (I don’t have a nickname for him yet) UPDATE: WE HAVE A NICKNAME: CTU Chief Bubba Hunch
- A new presidential chief of staff who may or may not be trustworthy (no nickname yet)
- Arlo the incompetent or idiotic CTU analyst (who may or may not be a mole)
- Level 1 Bad Guy (aka Horace Goodspeed and Triumph the Insult Comic Dog) who appears to be leading a conspiracy to assassinate…
- President Omar Hassan of generic Islamic nation (aka Slumdog Millionaire Who Wants To Be a Millionaire Host), in town to sign a landmark peace treaty
- President Slumdog Millionaire has been interviewed by and appears to be having dirty western thoughts about the journalist Meredith Reed (aka Jessica Stein)
- Jessica Stein may or may not be just a decoy in the plot to assassinate President Slumdog Millionaire or actually involved.
So here we go with my live diary/would-be Tale of the Tweets for Part Two of the premiere of Day Eight of 24. Let’s get to the ass-kicking and body count, shall we?
The following takes place between the hours of 6:00 p.m. and 7:00 p.m.
Events occur in real time.
Disclaimer: the time-stamping is approximate. My TiVo time is not quite in sync with the official 24 clock, so there's a 2 minute margin of error.
6:03: "Decrypting" and "perimeter" in the first minute. It's already too much.
6:04: "The biometric scans all indicate that she's withholding." Oh hell yeah Jessica Stein is withholding.
6:05: Broadway and West 23rd. In Queens. Geographic accuracy not a strong suit of the show so far this season.
6:06: "I don't want to hurt you. I am just doing my job. Which is to poop on you." I'm sorry, the Triumph accent is absolutely killing me.
6:08: Jack is clearly not looking for a basketball game. Not b/c he's got other things to take care of. But because he is really really short.
6:09: Damn you Triumph. That poor policeman and his wife. Now their kid is really going to start acting out in school.
6:10: Two more bodies. Body count now at 11.
6:10: OMG. It's Herc! (Wire fans) Dom! (Entourage fans). Either way, the arrival of Dominick Lombardozzi is always welcome. Thank you 24!
6:11: Oh no you didn't just take down Jack Bauer with a taser! Herc you are a bad bad man.
6:17: I'm already bored with Fembot's whole trailer trash past storyline. Unless he has anything to do with the assassination attempt. Or there's a baby back home in the trailer.
6:19: Kevin did ask the question I asked last night: how did she get through the CTU screening process with a new identity?
6:20: Oh no she didn't give him her keys. Agent Freddie Prinze will not be pleased about this.
6:21: Why did Jessica Stein refer to President Hassan as Omar? Dead giveaway of an affair.
6:23: Tell him, Chloe! Chloe always speaks the truth. Maybe Hastings will learn this.
6:24: This is Dom and not Herc. Dom is an annoying idiot. Herc was an awesome Baltimore cop. Herc would have known not to mess with Jack Bauer.
6:26: Perimeter! Drink!
6:31: Now who wants to be a millionaire!!! I mean, let's get back to the peace negotiations.
6:32: If President Slumdog Millionaire denies the affair, then Jack is a dead man!
6:33: Oh President Slumdog Millionaire - by confirming the affair, you just saved Jack's life but lost your own.
6:34: How long until Hassan is dead? Over/under 1 hour, yes?
6:34: "Jack's phone battery may have died." Obviously Hastings doesn't know the rules of 24. Jack's cell phone battery NEVER DIES.
6:35: Oh no! If Chloe leaves the building, she's fired. But if she doesn't, Jack will die! Well, he probably won't die, since he's the star of the show, but you know.
6:36: "Your brother will be dead before the hour is out." So that means if it happens, it's tonight. I liked Hassan.
6:40: Jack attack!!!
6:42: "Please! Innocent lives are at stake." I love the writers. So predictable.
6:43: This Arlo guy cannot be trusted. Or have I just watched too much 24?
6:44: What does incendiary mean? Oh, it means a bomb. Thanks Arlo.
6:45: Why don't you listen to Chloe? Why why why??????
6:46: So it looks like the intel wasn't fake. Or was it? I'm so confused.
6:51: Never trust the brother. Never trust the brother! Random thought: Do you think the brother is having an affair with the cold bitch of a wife? Nah.
6:54: Jack Bauer was right? Of course Jack Bauer was right!!!!! He's Jack Bauer!
6:54: "We don't have time!" DRINK!
6:55: Agent Freddie Prinze Jr!!!!! Oh No!
6:57: Is Freddie Prinze Jr ok? Is Hassan ok? Stay tuned!
The following takes place between the hours of 7:00 p.m. and 8:00 p.m.
7:02: Oh thank god they're both ok. That was quite a 5 minute cliffhanger.
7:03: There is no such address as 4722 East 47th. That would be somewhere in the East River or possibly in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean.
7:03: Jack's Magic Satchel!
7:04: The brother is such a douche.
7:05: "They're locking down the entire area. For me to poop on!"
7:06: Outstanding use of a pen as a weapon. Jack Bauer-like. And one more to add to the body count.
7:07: OMG. Agent Freddie Prinze is awesome. And Jack Bauer is even more awesomer.
7:08: Goodbye Triumph. And add one more to the body count. 13 total.
7:11: Renee! Renee Walker! She's back! She's badass.
7:12: I knew Triumph was just a Level One Bad Guy. There's always someone higher than the Level One Bad Guy.
7:12: And it's a Russian Jon Voight!
7:12: And it's always about delivering some package. Heh heh.
7:12: And of course it's the Russian mob. I don't think there's any other enemy around these days. Other than terrorists of course.
7:18: "We can only be betrayed by the people we trust." Truer words have never been spoken in the world of 24.
7:19: Oh come on Jack. You are so not going to Los Angeles today.
7:21: Weapons grade uranium. And President Slumdog Millionaire knows the answer. This is getting good.
7:26: Again, Chloe's got a great new haircut this season.
7:26: And while we're at it, Renee looks hot.
7:26: I hope Renee isn't too traumatized by seeing Jack again.
7:27: Yay! Another proper pronunciation of nuclear!
7:28: Weapons grade uranium. I believe we have our first WMD of the season!
7:28: And President Slumdog Millionaire has cracked the case! The uranium is ALREADY HERE IN THE U.S.!
7:29: Thanks to Jonathan, we have a new nickname for Hastings: CTU Bubba. I'm adding Hunch. So it's CTU Chief Bubba Hunch.
7:29: "Unsecured nuclear material." All eyes grow wide.
7:30: "I wouldn't be asking if it weren't important." CTU Bubba Hunch with another nominee for understatements of the year.
7:31: "I just want to say goodbye." You're not going anywhere Jack!!!!!! Yeesh.
7:32: You bet Renee is in a dark place. Just look at her eye makeup!
7:33: So we're supposed to think that Renee tried to kill herself? Hmmm.
7:38: Why do I think we haven't seen the last of Jessica Stein?
7:41: I really don't like Agent Fembot.
7:42: And Jack is back in!!!
7:42: And Jack still can't pronounce nuclear. Dammit.
7:44: Sark! Sark! Sark! Sark!
7:45: "I want to see the rods." *giggles*
7:45: Going to have to go back and watch that last scene again. I was still freaking out over SARK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
7:45: 5 hours to get the rods to the ship. So that will be in the next 5 episodes. I'm on to you, 24!
7:46: Is his younger son really suffering from radiation poisoning or is it a hoax?
7:52: Why is this white trash plot line happening? Why is this happening in the last 10 minutes of the season premiere?
7:53: Can't Fembot Agent just have him arrested and/or killed? She does work at CTU.
7:54: White Trash CTU Starbuck! Nice one Rob.
7:55: "Good behavior...with warden?" Ahahahahaha.
7:57: "I know how to get this off." Nice work, Renee.
7:58: Oh jesus h. christ I did not need to see that mess.
7:59: Ladies and Gentleman, you know you've crossed the line when even Jack Bauer is horrified.
7:59: That's why we have Renee. So that even Jack looks like he doesn't go far enough.
7:59: "THIS IS OVER!" Yup. that's right Jack. This episode is over.
And that's a wrap for hour four.
Total body count now stands at I'm not sure what right now.
See you next week!