NFL Survivor Post-Mortem and Divisional Quick Picks

Posted on January 16, 2010. Filed under: Football, For Entertainment Purposes Only, General, Sports | Tags: , , , , , , , , , |

Without survivor to play for, I just couldn’t get motivated to do a full preview and picks post. Plus I’m still devastated over losing last week thanks to Green Bay’s failure. After the come back! And winning the toss! Oy, Packers. You killed me. And everybody else for that matter. One guy picked Arizona. He won. The survivor pool is, to quote Iron Chef, “o-vah!”

Survivor Post-Mortem

1. I apologize to the Cardinals and Cardinals’ fans for not picking them last week. I say this not just because it knocked me out of the survivor pool, but because I should have picked them based on the fact that I went to a game at University of Phoenix Stadium this season. And it was an awesome crowd. And I had so much fun. Just look at this picture!

Just look at this crowd. Awesome!

2. More importantly, I really should have picked the Ravens. If you look at my pre-game preview, I was not sold on the Patriots at all. And I hate them. So I would have aligned my rooting and gambling interests. Which is always ideal. Oh well.

Divisional Quick Picks

I don’t have time to do a full pro and con breakdown for this weekend’s divisional games, but here are my quick picks:

Saints over Cardinals

  • This comes down to home field advantage. Both teams have big-play capability and are in some ways mirror images of one another.
  • The Saints are at home, the crowd will be insane, so I’m taking the Saints.
  • Also, did you see what Green Bay did to the Arizona defense last week? Yeah, me too.
  • I think they miss Boldin more this week than last. Just a hunch.
  • Caution: takeaways can disappear. Saints had 26 takeaways this season, 3rd in NFL. The Packers taught us this lesson last week. Just something to keep an eye out for.
  • P.S. I would gladly root for either Arizona or New Orleans over both Dallas and Minnesota, but alas, I have to choose.

Ravens over Colts

  • I don’t like the Colts’ lying down the last two weeks and the football gods will punish them.
  • The Colts have lost their last 3 games coming off the bye week to start the playoffs.
  • Ravens have momentum and Ray Rice.
  • Flacco is healthier.
  • Plus, the Michael Oher factor. Do not underestimate the Michael Oher/Blind Side factor
  • Also we know that Indy’s home field advantage no longer exists since they moved to the new dome.

Cowboys over Vikings

  • This hurts. A lot. I hate both teams so I would really love to see them both lose. Seeing as that’s not possible, I am picking the Cowboys. They are playing great and I think they will contain Brett Favre.
  • On a personal note, I will root for the Vikings because even though I hate He Who Shall Not Be Named, I have a lot of friends in the land of 10,000 lakes, and they love their Vikings. So Go Vikings!
  • But I’m picking the Cowboys. Sorry.
  • I need to shower I feel so dirty.

Upset special: Jets over Chargers

  • Yes, the Chargers are hot. Yes, the Chargers are at home. Yes, the Chargers are everybody’s favorite to go to the Super Bowl.
  • But I’m sticking with the recipe of great defense and great rushing. The Jets have both. The Chargers do not. Period. End of story. I said last week that great rushing and defense wins playoff games on the road. I’ll say it again.
  • And if it rains, that benefits the Jets.
  • Plus, Revis shuts down Jackson. I am worried about Antonio Gates.
  • I expect to lose this one, but might as well go with my heart.
  • I do like the Jets to cover even if they don’t win outright.

Enjoy the games and see you next week for the Conference Championships!

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Jets-Bengals with my Dad: The Tale of the Tweets

Posted on January 10, 2010. Filed under: Comedy, Family, Football, Sports, Tale of the Tweets | Tags: , , , , , |

As many of you know, I extended my stay in LA for another few days largely so I could watch football with my Dad (and see my adorable nephew Sam). I have always been a daddy’s girl and my love of sports (and sense of humor) definitely comes from him. He’s awesome and hilarious and I love watching games with him. Since I live 3000 miles away, we don’t get to do it too often, so I wanted to take advantage of some prime playoff-watching with him yesterday.

It’s been a while since I’ve done a Tale of the Tweets post, and yesterday’s Jets-Bengals wild card playoff game provided some outstanding material. I mean, with the #announcerfail and #coachingfail running rampant, how could we lose?  Without further ado, here we go:

Tom Hammond is the picture of #announcerfail

Sticking with my gut and going with the Jets.

I really really hope that doesn’t happen. Really. RT @joshqpublic: i really really really hope the jets get crushed today. really. really.

So what players went to Notre Dame or were in the Olympics? Tom Hammond knows those guys. #notannflannouncer

Tom Hammond quoting Ochocinco: “Please, child.” #tomhammondfail

The Oregon State? Ok, that was funny Ochocinco.

Wowowowowowowowowowow! Jets defense!!!!!!!!

That was a fumble. I know you need to challenge, but it will be lost.

OMG. Sanchez completed a pass! He is competent. OMG.

Joe Theisman just said Buddy Ryan would challenge. Yet another #announcerfail. Can we make that a trending topic?

We would be better off watching this game on mute. #announcerfail

Please don’t let this game come down to the Jets’ punter. And what happened to him?

Can someone please explain how Carson Palmer and Mark Sanchez went to high school together? Carson is like 8 years older.

That was an emphatic catch signal from the official. You shouldn’t challenge that.

On dear god I forgot about how terrible Braylon Edwards is. #jets

“You can’t win the game when you drop touchdown passes.” Ladies and gentlemen, my dad.

Tiki Barber: you are just terrible. This is just epic #announcerfail.

Tom Hammond: “Cotchery calls for a fair catch.” My dad: “No he didn’t!” #announcerfail

The Who is rightfully making its first Super Bowl halftime appearance ever. #becausetheyarenotrelevant

I just seriously stood up and screamed, “I love Shonn Greene!” #jets

Awww. RT @dwag29: I would rather read commentary on Jets-Bengals by @amandarykoff and her dad than listen to these jokers. #announcerfail

“WHAAAAAAAAAT???????” Me and my dad on that “illegal contact” call. #officiatingfail

BTW, Carson Palmer is also a pretty boy from Southern California. #justsaying


Consider this everyone’s formal introduction to Darrelle Shavar Revis.

Mark Sanchez is a liability and can’t pass. #liesliesdamnlies

Dad: “I would challenge that. Oh, wait. HAH!”

RT @dwag29: Tom Hammond: “And he’s ridden out of bounds! ❤ second pause> No, touchdown!” #channelingchipcaray #jets #bengals #nflplayoffs

For the record, my dad really didn’t know about Darrelle Revis. He lives in LA. They don’t get many Jets games.

#announcerfail RT @ChetRazzball: Hah! RT @NFLFanHouse: THAT WASN’T BRAD SMITH, YOU IDIOTS! #theismannistheworst

NBC only has an “F” announcing team. #announcerfail

Dad: “I seem to recall that Neil O’Donnell got a huge free agent deal w/someone and was a complete flop.” Me: “Yes, the Jets.”

Flag flies. “Holding.” In unison. #daddysgirl

You know, the Bengals don’t have a good history when it comes to injuries in playoff games.

RT @dwag29: Halftime already? These announcers are just getting warmed up! Let’s trend #announcerfail in the 2nd half. #jets #bengals

I was going to listen to the radio broadcast of the 2nd half, but I don’t want to miss out on #announcerfail.

What the hell was that Jets? And could the announcers have been less helpful? Oh nevermind. #announcerfail

How do Bears fans feel every time Benson busts out a great run?

What is up with the penalties? Terrible terrible call. #officiatingfail

My dad will confirm that I put the curse on that kick. And it worked! #jets

That was a good catch. But oh btw, Marvin Lewis, you are OUT OF CHALLENGES. #coachingfail

RT @dwag29: “The Jets… uh uh, Bengals can’t challenge’ – Tom Hammond. #announcerfail

Thomas Jones sighting! In the end zone! And if his knee was down? Well, we’ll never know.

Ooh, I see what you did there! RT @ChetRazzball: It’s not unusual to see T Jones score a TD

RT @dwag29: RT @grmeyer: #announcerfail The announcers of Jets/Bengals game are better suited for this venue:

RT @ChetRazzball: RT @NotJayCutler: I’d like to have a guy like Cedric Benson playing for the Bears.

Andre Caldwell should not be in the game. What is the medical staff thinking?

Great game plan and play calling by Schottenheimer. Brian, that is. #jets

Dad wanted to know if there was a moment of silence for Casey Johnson before the game. I don’t think so.

Oh, thanks to @stackmack, it appears that there was a moment of silence for Casey Johnson. Sad story.

Well @TheBigLead, you said it. This is the Jets. It is never over. #gack

Ok, Mark Sanchez, are you ready for your close-up?

This play calling has just been brilliant. Brian Schottenheimer!

My dad is pacing. And he’s not even a Jets fan. #tense

I put the hex on Graham again. And it worked again!!!!! #jets #bengals #kickerfail

Damn. Even Ochocinco is thinking, “I can make that kick.”

High fives all around here at Casa Rykoff. #jets

I went with my gut and it paid off. Well, actually Rex Ryan’s gut paid off. #jets

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Survival of the Fittest NFL Style: Wildcard Saturday Edition

Posted on January 9, 2010. Filed under: Football, For Entertainment Purposes Only, Sports | Tags: , , , , , , , , |

As most of you know by now (and if you don’t, where the hell have you been?), I’ve been making my weekly NFL Survivor Pool picks here on the blog. And I somehow managed to go 17-0. That’s right – I correctly picked one team to win each week. If you want to see the entire season’s picks, just click here.

Survivor rules still apply in the playoffs

Admittedly, this is a great accomplishment, but I couldn’t have done it without the help of some very bad NFL teams. That’s right, I’m talking to you St. Louis. I picked you to lose 7 different times out of 17 and you did not disappoint. Thank you thank you.

Special mention also goes to the Cleveland Browns, who lost for me 3 times. And to the rest of the Sucky Six, thank you. I need to tip my cap to Oakland who beat Pittsburgh, Philadelphia and Denver to knock out a lot of my competitors. I’d be remiss if I also didn’t thank the Kansas City Chiefs for beating Denver in Week 17, eliminating over half of the remaining pool.

So even though going 17-0 seems impressive (I’d certainly never even come close before), 14 other people in the pool did the same thing! Which is also unprecedented.  So we decided to split a portion of the pot and walk away now with a nice chunk of change. We also agreed to continue into the playoffs for a winner take all pot.

Playoff Survivor Rules

We have to make five picks (Wild Card Saturday, Wild Card Sunday, Divisional Round, Conference Championship Round, Super Bowl). And just like the regular season, once you use a team, you can’t pick them again.


Here’s the kicker: if at any point you are unable to make a pick because you have no teams left to use, you are automatically eliminated.

This also means if say two people are left and one has no teams to use, and the other has one left to pick, the person that is capable of making a pick wins, regardless of if that teams wins or not.

Wild Card Weekend

WILD CARD SATURDAY (Pick #1) – Either NYJ, CIN, PHI or DAL.  If your pick wins, you can submit a Wild Card Sunday pick.  If your pick loses, you’re out.

WILD CARD SUNDAY (Pick #2) – Either BAL, NWE, GB or AZ.  If you’ve picked both Sat/Sun correct, you advance to the following weekend.  Lose and you’re out.

And here a couple of quick notes from the guy who organized the pool:

1) If for some reason, 15 people pick incorrectly Wild Card Saturday and 1 person picks correctly, that person wins and it ends there.  But if say 10 people incorrectly pick Wild Card Saturday and 6 are correct, and all 6 of those people pick incorrectly Wild Card Sunday, the 6 people will split the pot.  Basically, treat Wild Card Saturday as its own week.

2) If at any point, like the example above, everyone remaining loses at the same time or multiple people make it all the way through to the end, the pot will be split amongst those involved.

Without further ado, let’s get to the Wild Card Saturday breakdown: Jets at Bengals and Eagles at Cowboys.

Remember: Wild Card Saturday is separate from Wild Card Sunday. Also, I am applying one of my rules from regular season survivor here: no saving a team. If I think a team will win, I will pick them, regardless of whether I think they will make the Super Bowl. Got it? Good. Ok, let’s get going.

Jets at Bengals

Let’s start with the Bengals:

  • I am not sold on this Bengals team and in my opinion, they are paper tigers (heh heh – see what I did there?)
  • The AFC North was weak this season and their win total is padded as a result. They haven’t beaten a playoff team since November 8. Also, they finished with only a +14 point differential. (These great stats courtesy of the playoffs preview by Andrew Katz of  No You’re A Towel).
  • Ocho Cinco is banged up. And will be covered by Darrelle Revis. ESPNews showed a remarkable graphic: the Jets have held opponents’ #1 receivers to less than 30 yards per game this season. That, my friends, is what is known as a shut-down corner. And his middle name is Shavar. Come on, how awesome is that? Darrelle Shavar Revis.
  • I do like Carson Palmer and Cedric Benson (did I really just type that?) but I think the Jets will have a great defensive game plan to shut them down.
  • Finally, I know the Bengals “lay down” last Sunday when they got crushed by the Jets, 37-0. But I have a problem with any team that “lays down” and then expects to just turn it on a week later. The football gods do not approve. And neither do I.

And now the Jets:

Ladies and gentlemen, Darrelle Shavar Revis

  • This is my basic breakdown and why I’m picking them: #1 defense and #1 rushing offense. Defense and an effective running attack win games on the road. And win playoff games.
  • Yes, yes, yes, Mark Sanchez is a liability. But my expectation (well, really my hope) is that he is not a factor. Someone asked if I was ok relying on Sanchez to lead a game-winning drive down by 5 with 2 minutes left. The answer is absolutely not. But I am banking on the fact that the game does not go that way.
  • In other words, if the defense and running game do what they’re supposed to do, Sanchez won’t be put in a position to win or lose the game for them. I mean, Trent Dilfer won a Super Bowl with the same basic concept. I’m not picking the Jets to go that far, but you see what I’m saying.
  • Did I mention Darrelle Revis? He plays for the Jets.  He’s good.
  • I see a big defensive play by the Jets making the difference in this game.

Pick: the J-E-T-S Jets Jets Jets.

IMPORTANT CAVEAT: At this point, I’m playing with house money. I’ve already pocketed a nice amount of change for winning the regular season, so anything that I do in the playoffs is gravy. Would I normally put all the marbles on Mark Sanchez on the road in Cincinnati? Probably not. But you know what? I am going with my gut and my gut says the Jets will win this. And if they don’t? Well then I won’t have to worry about making any more picks.

Eagles at Cowboys

I’ll keep this one short and sweet: I am not going anywhere near this game. Here’s why:

  • Divisional rivals. And not just any divisional rivals: the NFC East rivals.
  • A team trying to beat a team 3 times in one season. This is not easy to do.
  • A rematch of Week 17.
  • This one has trouble written all over it.

If I had to pick based on just my gut: it’s the Eagles.  And DeSean Jackson is the difference. But I’m not putting my survivor pool on the line. And I would not be surprised in the least if the Cowboys win.

If the Jets win, I’ll be back with my Sunday Survivor pick. Here’s a hint: it’s not Arizona.

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