New York Gets Jack'd! (photo from tvfanatic.com)

So here we go with my live diary/would-be Tale of the Tweets for Part One of the premiere of Day Eight of 24. Let’s get to the ass-kicking and body count, shall we?

The following takes place between the hours of 4:00 p.m. and 5:00 p.m.

Events occur in real time.

Disclaimer: the time-stamping is approximate. My TiVo time is not quite in sync with the official 24 clock, so there’s a 2 minute margin of error.

4:01: Hey! Not everybody in NYC is a crack addict. #stereotyping

4:02: Two minutes in and the body count is already at two. This is going to be a good season.

4:04: Jack’s granddaughter is a real cutie. I sure hope she doesn’t get caught up in this nonsense.

4:05: So they use fake Fox News on a Fox show so they don’t want people to see how ridiculous the real thing is?

4:05: Oh Kim Bauer. I forgot how much you annoy me.

Anil Kapoor: game show host to president

4:07: The actor who played the host of Who Wants to Be a Millionaire in Slumdog Millionaire is the president of Iran, er, Kamistan, er, generic Islamic nation.

4:07: But the actor who plays him is Indian. Oh, nevermind.

4:07: It’s 24. Racial profiling is not only standard, it’s expected.

4:08: President Taylor is made of awesome.

4:16: Jennifer Westfeldt lives with John Hamm. Isn’t that enough? Now she must have the president of Kamistan as well?

4:18: Hassan’s brother seems like a real tool. I’m sure that won’t be a factor either.

4:21: 21 minutes in and Jack pulls his first awesome move of the season.

4:21: “You’re lucky I’m retired.” Jack Bauer. Bad ass.

4:22: Ooh. CTU has fancy new digs in NYC. Our tax dollars hard at work.

4:22: Another engaged couple at CTU? There will never be another Tony and Michelle!

4:22: Perimeter!

4:23: Oh blonde woman you did NOT just talk patronizingly to Chloe O’Brian.

4:24: Why won’t people learn to listen to Jack Bauer?

4:24: I love how Jack pulls the same “Don’t make me go to the president” move every season.

4:25: CTU director Hastings: “Gather com and tactical. Tell them we’ve got a situation.” *giggles* Jersey Shore is EVERYWHERE!

4:26: “Who is Jack Bauer?” Arlo is clearly an idiot. And that might turn out to be relevant later. Just a hunch.

4:34: Ooh, the president got a divorce! Over Olivia. And the murder she paid for. And that’s that.

4:36: Ethan’s popping pills. That won’t be relevant later.

4:36: Jack to Kim: “Something came up. Gonna be at little late.” Understatements of the year.

4:37: Hmm…the Baccarat store is located at 59th and Madison. Let’s see. That’s approximately NOWHERE NEAR 18th and 9th.

4:38: Having trouble buying into the concept that Chloe is having trouble with technology.

4:38: Chloe is the modern-era greek chorus. Speak the truth, girl!

4:39: Agent Freddie Prinze Jr. Not really buying it.

Freddie Prinze Jr. as CTU agent. Interesting. (photo courtesy fusedfilm.com)

4:40: Oh no, damn good samaritan calling the police. Don’t you know it’s Jack Bauer?

4:41: The Magic Satchel! It’s back!

4:45: Oh damn. Mrs. Hassan looks like a cold bitch.

4:46: Hassan’s daughter seems like a good kid. I hope she doesn’t get caught up in all this nonsense.

4:47: Fun fact: President Omar Hassan Ahmad al-Bashir is the real president of Sudan. I learned that when I googled “President Omar Hassan.”

4:48: New Chief of Staff. Trustworthy? Too soon to tell. (Man, I’ve clearly watched waaaaay too much 24).

4:49: Why do they make the NYPD seem like incompetent idiots?

4:49: Listen to Jack Bauer, dammit.

4:49: Two NYPD cops down. Body count now at four.

4:50: “Mr. Hastings, we have a situation at the pickup.” Situations everywhere.

4:51: And the award for best use of a firefighter’s axe as an improvised murder weapon goes to…Jack Bauer!!!!!!!

4:51:: Two bad guys down. Body count now stands at six in the first hour. Nice work.

4:52: Holy fucking shit. What the hell was that? Explosion. Jaw drops.

4:53: Give me a name! Who’s on the inside? Haven’t we heard this before?

4:53: Of course Victor dies before he can give Jack the name of who is on the inside. Otherwise the show would be called 8.

4:54: Two CTU agents and informant dead in the explosion. Body count at 9 after first hour.

4:55: I knew Jessica Stein could not be trusted!

And that’s a wrap on the first hour. Body count total stands at 9.

Let’s see what unfolds next.

The following takes place between 5:00 p.m. and 6:00 p.m.

5:02: Arlo. Arlo is not to be trusted! Or just really incompetent. Too soon to tell. But there’s always a mole at CTU. Always.

5:02: Dying declarations FTW!

5:03: I didn’t know they knew how to pronounce nuclear on Fox. Well done.

Jessica Stein cannot be trusted! (photo courtesy buddytv.com)

5:09: So they got Jessica Stein. That was a little too easy. Somehow I think there’s more to this plot.

5:14: And Chloe just said exactly what I said! You’ll have to trust me on that.

5:16: “I promise I won’t be long. I’ll have to meet you at the airport.” Oh Jack why must you lie to Kim?

5:17: “We’re coming to pick you up at CTU.” File under Bad Idea Jeans.

5:19: Chloe and Jack! Together again.

5:20: Why do presidents hire their brothers to be their chiefs of staff, etc.? Younger less successful brothers always have it in for older successful brothers on TV.

5:23: Aha! It’s the brother! I knew it! Told you he was a total tool.

5;24: The Level 1 Bad Guy’s accent sounds just like Triumph the Insult Comic Dog!

5:27: So I had to google Katee Sackhoff. I’m sorry, BSG fans, I never watched.

5:28: If Dana Walsh has a secret past and a former identity, how did CTU miss that on their oh-so-thorough security clearances? Guess I’ll have suspend my disbelief. Again.

5:31: Why don’t they listen to Jack Bauer? Can I program that as an auto-correct?

5:33: Chloe is right. Jack has asked her to do some crazy-ass shit over the years. I mean, days. I mean, hours. Whatever, you know what I’m saying.

Who knew Triumph would make a cameo?

5:34: Kim Bauer pleads with her father. And we have Kim Bauer to thank for this entire season of 24. I’m not sure if I’m ok with that.

5:35: Gratuitous shot of the adorable granddaughter Teri. Man I hope she doesn’t get caught up in this mess.

5:36: HD is not kind to a lot of the cast members on 24.

5:37: Jack is back! We now resume to our regularly scheduled ass-kicking.

5:41: Them’s some really fancy digs at CTU NYC. I wonder where it’s located.

5:42: President Hassan: “If the price for peace is my life, so be it. Now, who wants to be a millionaire????” Oh, that’s not what he said? I must be hearing things.

5:43: The brother has that long hair, is short and is totally sketchy. I can’t believe his brother doesn’t see it?

5:45: Chloe’s hair looks great. And they even gave her decent clothes and a pretty necklace for this season.

5:46: Katee Sackhoff looks sort of like a fembot. A trailer trash fembot!

Katee Sackhoff as Dana Walsh, fembot CTU agent (courtesy of www.aceshowbiz.com

5:46: So if this slimy Kevin Wade found out who Dana really is, how did CTU miss this on her background check? Oh right, suspension of disbelief.

5:48: Really? If I had Sprint I could get access to a sneak peek of next week’s 24? Yeah, I’ll stick with Verizon thanks. Unless I get an iPhone. But I digress.

5:52: Jessica Stein had direct phone contact with someone at the end of the first hour. Was it just her editor at the newspaper or someone more sinister? When is she going to mention this?

5:53: So the Level 1 Bad Guy who launched an assault missile and took out the CTU chopper is pretending to be a police officer from Queens? Awesome!

5:53: Corollary: how did he land a job with the NYPD and on the UN Security Detail if he’s a foreign national? Suspension of disbelief.

5:55: Oh yeah, Jack Bauer’s gone rogue. Game on, bitches.

5:56: Not Jack Bauer’s Magic Satchel! They took his Magic Satchel!

5:57: Oh he dropped President Taylor’s name again!

5:58: Thank god Jack got his Magic Satchel back. All is right with the world.

5:59: OMG. Triumph the Insult Comic Dog just pulled a gun on the nice policeman and his wife.

5:59: “Tear off a strip and put it over Maggie’s mouth. Do it. For me to poop on!”

And finally:

And since my rule is no previews, I will see you tomorrow night for Part II.

Total body count after the first two hours stands at nine.

Let me know your thoughts via comment or tweet.

Survivor Post-Mortem

1. I apologize to the Cardinals and Cardinals’ fans for not picking them last week. I say this not just because it knocked me out of the survivor pool, but because I should have picked them based on the fact that I went to a game at University of Phoenix Stadium this season. And it was an awesome crowd. And I had so much fun. Just look at this picture!

Just look at this crowd. Awesome!

2. More importantly, I really should have picked the Ravens. If you look at my pre-game preview, I was not sold on the Patriots at all. And I hate them. So I would have aligned my rooting and gambling interests. Which is always ideal. Oh well.

Divisional Quick Picks

I don’t have time to do a full pro and con breakdown for this weekend’s divisional games, but here are my quick picks:

Saints over Cardinals

• This comes down to home field advantage. Both teams have big-play capability and are in some ways mirror images of one another.
• The Saints are at home, the crowd will be insane, so I’m taking the Saints.
• Also, did you see what Green Bay did to the Arizona defense last week? Yeah, me too.
• I think they miss Boldin more this week than last. Just a hunch.
• Caution: takeaways can disappear. Saints had 26 takeaways this season, 3rd in NFL. The Packers taught us this lesson last week. Just something to keep an eye out for.
• P.S. I would gladly root for either Arizona or New Orleans over both Dallas and Minnesota, but alas, I have to choose.

Ravens over Colts

• I don’t like the Colts’ lying down the last two weeks and the football gods will punish them.
• The Colts have lost their last 3 games coming off the bye week to start the playoffs.
• Ravens have momentum and Ray Rice.
• Flacco is healthier.
• Plus, the Michael Oher factor. Do not underestimate the Michael Oher/Blind Side factor
• Also we know that Indy’s home field advantage no longer exists since they moved to the new dome.

Cowboys over Vikings

• This hurts. A lot. I hate both teams so I would really love to see them both lose. Seeing as that’s not possible, I am picking the Cowboys. They are playing great and I think they will contain Brett Favre.
• On a personal note, I will root for the Vikings because even though I hate He Who Shall Not Be Named, I have a lot of friends in the land of 10,000 lakes, and they love their Vikings. So Go Vikings!
• But I’m picking the Cowboys. Sorry.
• I need to shower I feel so dirty.

Upset special: Jets over Chargers

• Yes, the Chargers are hot. Yes, the Chargers are at home. Yes, the Chargers are everybody’s favorite to go to the Super Bowl.
• But I’m sticking with the recipe of great defense and great rushing. The Jets have both. The Chargers do not. Period. End of story. I said last week that great rushing and defense wins playoff games on the road. I’ll say it again.
• And if it rains, that benefits the Jets.
• Plus, Revis shuts down Jackson. I am worried about Antonio Gates.
• I expect to lose this one, but might as well go with my heart.
• I do like the Jets to cover even if they don’t win outright.

Enjoy the games and see you next week for the Conference Championships!

So now that I am a free agent on the job market, I thought I’d take advantage of the opportunity to do some things and see some sights that I haven’t done in my 16 years here. Or that would require me to go on a Saturday or Sunday, when the rest of the world has “free” time. BTW, have you ever wondered why it’s called “free” time? It always costs me a lot of money.

Introducing Tourist For a Day: New York City Edition

Welcome to the first installment of a new series I’m calling “Tourist For a Day.” Each week, I’ll do something “touristy” that’s been on my list, take pictures, and write about it. There will be a number of museum visits and I hope to finally walk across the Brooklyn Bridge (weather permitting).

I will not, however, go to Times Square as part of this series. I worked in that area for many years and frankly, I don’t need to spend any more time there. Ever.  Also, I won’t walk four across on the sidewalk, stop in the middle of the street for a photo or look slack-jawed at anything for no good reason.  I can only take the “tourist” thing so far. I am a New Yorker.

I’m also open to suggestions, so please feel free to send me a note or leave a comment if there’s something that you think I should check out.

Kandinsky Retrospective at the Guggenheim Museum

First up? The Guggenheim Museum for the last day of the Wassily Kandinsky Retrospective, a 95 piece collection put together to honor the museum’s 50th anniversary. (For the record, going to a museum is not in and of itself a “touristy” endeavor; going at 1 p.m. on a Wednesday afternoon is). Kandinsky played a large role in the creation of the Guggenheim Museum, as his works were some of the first to be acquired by Solomon Guggenheim, the museum’s founder. So of course it was only fitting that this museum host the huge retrospective in its trademark spiral setting.

Just a few people at the Kandinsky Retrospective

My aunt and uncle saw the exhibit when they were in New York and said it was one of the best exhibits they’d ever seen. And since it was closing on Wednesday, January 13, I had no time to spare. Off I went. I expected it to be crowded, since it was the last day of the exhibit and because the city is just crawling with tourists in December and January. Wednesday was no exception.

As you can see, a few other people had the same idea I did and wanted to see this fantastic retrospective before it closed.

I don’t want to turn this post into a history of Kandinsky, so I urge you to read the description of the exhibit from the Guggenheim or even his Wikipedia page.

Who is Kandinsky?

Wassily Kandinsky was born in Russia but lived in Russia, Germany and France, and witnessed two world wars (he died just after World War II ended). He was a fascinating man whose style and approach evolved over time. Incredibly, he didn’t even start painting until he was 30, giving up his study of law and economics. Kandinsky was interested in the deconstruction of art and so his paintings, not surprisingly, are abstract and a bit hard to understand. But that’s ok, because they are very cool to look at. His use of colors and geometry is striking and to see all the works together in one place was really quite impressive.

Kandinsky's Yellow, Red, Blue (photo from http://simplyartonline.net)

As someone who was looking to reinterpret art and push the boundaries, it is no surprise that Kandinsky founded the “Blue Rider” and also played a large role in the creation of the Bauhaus movement, along with founder Walter Gropius. I learned a lot at the exhibit thanks to the complimentary audio tour (well, it was included in the price of the $18 ticket, so I’ll consider it “complimentary”).

Schönberg and Kandinsky

The exhibition’s curator also used a lot of the music of Arnold Schönberg in the exhibit.  Schönberg and Kandinsky shared the same basic philosophy towards their respective arts: break it down and recreate it in a way that’s never been done before. In fact, Kandinsky was so moved by Schönberg’s work and his approach to musical deconstruction that when he first heard one of Schönberg’s pieces, he wrote him a letter telling him how much he admired his work.  The men had never met, but that letter forged a relationship between the two. Totally fascinating.

A Trip to the Museum Isn’t Complete Without Idiots

Apparently two idiot women didn’t learn anything (or at least didn’t know anything), based on what I overheard: “What is the Bauhaus? I’d never heard of it.” Um, excuse me, ladies, you are AT THE KANDINSKY EXHIBIT AT THE GUGGENHEIM. HOW HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF BAUHAUS? Thank you for letting me get that off my chest. I have no patience for idiots. And in defense of tourists, I don’t know if these ladies were from out of town. Don’t tell anyone, but there are actual real-life idiots right here in NYC.

Museum Mile

After two hours at the Guggenheim (the line was out the door to buy tickets when I left, though the museum was closing in under 2 hours), I walked down the famous Museum Mile to the Metropolitan Museum of Art. Don’t worry – I had no intention of actually going to the Met on Wednesday, but I wanted to walk in a tourist’s shoes.

You can see the photos from my seven block walk in the Tourist For a Day photo set on Flickr (which I’ll be updating regularly). I did the walk at around 4 pm ET, and the light was very cool as dusk approached. I love the shots of the sky and the light and shadow with the buildings. But I digress.

My favorite discovery was on the corner of 82nd Street and Fifth Avenue, directly across the street from the Met. As I turned the corner, I saw this:

Reason #892 why I love NYC

Yes, that is what you think it is: a drawing on the sidewalk with instructions where to stand in order to take a cliche photo of the Met. I nearly danced a jig in delight. I would never have seen this if not for my walk down Fifth Avenue for Tourist For a Day. In order to see the picture I took from that exact spot, you’ll have to check out my photos on Flickr.

See you next time after my next adventure in NYC. What else will I see that I’ve missed during my 16 years in the big city?

Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry